A Broken Wing, Wanting to Soar

On June 2, 2013, a branch from the ground got caught in my shoe, stood up and hooked me under my left arm, spun me into the house, and slid me down, a Y was in my armpit and as I landed cracked my upper arm, near the shoulder.

I thought it was dislocated, but it had broken, hairline cracks.

I missed a gathering that I have been a part of for 8 years. It was the year of the women coming forward. I have prepared and anticipated this year for a long time. Why couldn’t I be there? I found out later from attendees that it became the year of the women. It was planned for 2012, happened in 2013. Why wasn’t I able to be there for this feminization? Breathe.

I chose to go through this without painkillers. Essential oils of lavender, frankincense and grapefruit calmed and brightened my mind. If I was able to keep my body in alignment, I didn’t have pain. The first couple of weeks I think there were so many endorphins and other bodily chemicals that helped me stay at peace, as long as I was in good alignment. I’ve had some practice in going beyond suffering and pain, here is a test.

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I had a hard time walking, so I decided to ride stationary bikes to allow the energy to keep flowing. It gave me a chance to let go of the pent up energy of sitting around. It got me out of the house and head. I saw people.

I gave my dog to a neighbor, I couldn’t care for him. I couldn’t bend, lift or move easily. My Buster needs his walks. I couldn’t do it. I still miss him. I’m 6 weeks into this and can only manage him for a couple hours. I still don’t walk well, but I put his leash into a strap and secure it around my hips. I think I over did yesterday, so I need to back off again. My spirits have definitely lifted having him around more. I still visit every day, but it’s not the same.


In an effort to stay in the body, I rode the stationary bike. I also had several recordings I’ve made over the years of full body relaxation and I listened to them several times a day. Breathing exercises, again facilitated by recordings I’ve made. Another exercise I’ve been using is going in diagonals through the body, left foot, right knee, left hip, right shoulder, left ear; right foot, left knee, right hip, left shoulder, right ear. This helps stay in the body and diminishes sensations without ignoring them.

Massage is an integral part of my routine as well. My arm was losing tone so I massaged the left arm, initially with calendula infused apricot kernel oil, switching to comfrey infused olive oil. Followed by a compress and tea of nettles, switching to nettles, horsetail and comfrey root (root just in compress).

This amazing device helped me so much. It gave me a focus, helped me stay in my heart and with my breath.

Ice has been one of my best friends. So many times we turn to heat, but ice has more value for me right now. It helps reduce inflammation and brings the clean-up crews when it’s removed, increasing circulation to the area. It so helps with the muscular fatigue in mid-afternoon and evening.

Meditation and visualization are also wonderful tools. It gives the mind focus, a task. At first I imagined a group sitting around knitting and weaving the bones back together, having a wonderful time. It has transitioned to putting in a strong, flexible matrix of minerals, overlapping and re-shaping.

I also made some more recordings that I’m not ready to talk about yet. It may become a workshop, it’s still percolating. Here is a full body relaxation recording that I listened to daily.

After getting through the toughest part, I needed to do a cleanse. I’ve done so many that I just did what has worked in the past, if you are new to cleansing, consider attending one of Dr. Douillard’s (link below) So refreshing…

2015 fall cleanse rectangle banner

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